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It is likely that you know someone in a harmful or unhealthy relationship. Domestic abuse is common. For example, estimates suggest that听听globally will experience abuse in their lifetime. But many people do not know how to respond when a friend, relative or colleague tells them about domestic abuse.

惭测听听with colleagues at 白小姐论坛 and domestic abuse charities examines how education and training can help families and social networks recognise domestic abuse, know how to respond and be willing to do so.

During COVID lockdowns, domestic abuse became more prevalent while traditional care services were more difficult to access. This meant that victims听听from friends, family, colleagues and neighbours even more. As听, equipping social and family networks to give this help can be a valuable 鈥� and lifesaving 鈥� addition to the support provided by professionals.

In the UK, charities and other social organisations offer training programmes, such as听,听听补苍诲听. These initiatives teach members of the public and community leaders how to respond to people experiencing abuse in positive and helpful ways.

While most people experiencing abuse听, evidence suggests that听听victims, and members of some听听are most likely to inform and rely on their informal networks rather than formal services such as the police.

The reaction of informal networks can be vital. Research shows positive reactions from friends or colleagues can improve the听,听听and safety of people experiencing abuse. Informal support from personal contacts can also encourage people to seek help from听, such as gaining access to practical or legal support.

How to help

If you believe that a friend, relative, colleague or neighbour may be in a harmful relationship, it is not your responsibility to stop the abuse. If you think that they are in immediate danger, call 999 and ask for the police. But you can provide support and offer to help in other ways.

Talking about domestic abuse is difficult. It may make you feel uncomfortable if someone confides in you about an unhealthy relationship, or if you raise the issue of abuse. But there are steps you can take to respond in positive and helpful ways.

An easy way to remember them is through four 鈥淩s鈥�: recognise, respond, reassure and react.

Recognise

Our research highlights the importance of being able to identify the听听and risk factors for abuse. Many people do not recognise that domestic abuse takes many听. And there are widespread听听associated with abuse that must be challenged 鈥� for example, that it always involves violence.

Become familiar with domestic abuse in all its forms, including听听补苍诲听, so that you can recognise the signs of an unhealthy relationship.

Research suggests that learning about the听听of domestic abuse also motivates friends, family, colleagues and neighbours to take action.

If you are planning on听, domestic abuse charity SafeLives recommends you start by considering safety 鈥� theirs and your own. Think about safe ways to contact them or places to meet before you reach out.

Respond

When discussing harmful relationships or experiences of abuse, listen without blaming. Create a space in which your friend, relative or neighbour can confide in you and feel safe. Listen without judgement and show empathy. Be patient and recognise that it is not easy to talk about experiences of abuse.

Gender norms and cultural expectations might make it particularly difficult for some people to open up about their experiences, for example听听or those in conservative religious communities.

听may mean reminding them that you are there to listen, helping them to identify their options, or seeking professional advice on their behalf (with their consent).

Reassure

听highlights the importance of affirming, validating and understanding the feelings and experiences expressed by the person experiencing abuse.

听that informal networks do not always respond in a helpful way. Expressing doubt, blame or hostility can harm the wellbeing of the person experiencing abuse and diminish the likelihood that they will seek further help. Make it clear that you believe them and validate their experiences.

Domestic abuse campaign group and charity Refuge provides advice on听听and Equation, another group working against domestic abuse, recommends things that you听听the person you are supporting. A good place to start is to say 鈥淚 believe you鈥�, and tell them the abuse 鈥渋s not your fault鈥�.

React

Finally, offer to help your friend, relative or neighbour seek support 鈥� acting only if and when they want you to. This may mean offering to get in touch with local support services, ringing the national听听or using the听.

Women鈥檚 Aid also keeps an up-to-date听听of local support services and resources across the UK.

听highlights that supporting a friend or family member experiencing domestic abuse is difficult, so take steps to听听too. Stay aware of your own needs when helping someone with such a difficult situation, and incorporate activities into your routine that nourish your听. This may include talking to friends, being compassionate with yourself, and making time for leisure activities.

This article first appeared in听听on 7 September 2023.听

Links

• Original article听in听
• IOE, 白小姐论坛鈥檚 Faculty of Education and Society

Image

• Credit: Laura Dodsworth /听